How to be Demure in 10+ Steps

There’s a new TikTok trend started by Jools Lebron, where she showcases her beautiful and simplistic beauty and styling regimen, emphasizing that she is “Very Demure, Very Mindful” when going to work. Lebron explains that she values herself just as much in everyday work settings as she does in a job interview, highlighting the importance of consistency and authenticity in personal presentation.

While trends aren’t usually my focus, I admire Lebron’s approach to encouraging women to exude both softness and femininity while maintaining power and confidence.

Lebron advocates for a “demure” presentation—an approach that is subtle, yet effective. It’s about bringing the energy needed to attract attention (like snagging an interview) without going overboard (such as wearing elaborate party makeup or inappropriate clothing to work).

What does demure mean?

The term “demure” means being “calm” and “reserved or composed in demeanor,” according to the Oxford English Dictionary. Embracing a demure approach allows you to level up as a woman by combining elegance with subtlety. It’s about presenting yourself with poise and thoughtfulness, making a strong impression through refined choices rather that fit the occasion.

Lebron uses the term “demure” to describe a way of embracing femininity that is subtle and refined. It’s about caring enough to turn heads, but doing so in a way that feels natural and not overdone. She suggests that being demure means being mindful and considerate of those around you while also being conscious of how you present yourself to the world. “Your demure is what it means to you,” Lebron explains. “It’s about being thoughtful of others, but also true to yourself in how you show up.”

Others have described “demure” as a word that, in various contexts, always conveys a sense of something reserved, clean, and undeniably cute.

How to be Demure in Every Aspect of Your Life

1. Try Mindfulness

Your actions and behavior represent who you are. The version of you that seeks to secure opportunities—whether it’s an interview, a partner, or a friend—is consciously thinking about others and how you want to be perceived. This is the essence of being demure: knowing who you are and purposefully exuding your inner beauty so that others are naturally attracted to you. Remember, this isn’t about people-pleasing or becoming someone you’re not.

2. Be Consistent

Consistency means knowing who you are and how you want to present yourself, and maintaining that image across all situations. Every day is an opportunity, and it’s important not to lower your standards or slip into a less polished appearance. As Lebron noted, it’s undemure to present yourself impeccably for an interview but then adopt a vastly different, less refined or exaggerated look at work. This inconsistency can undermine your true self and the impression you wish to make. Maintaining a consistent, polished appearance and demeanor ensures that you always showcase the best version of yourself.

3. Choose Self-Awareness

Complete self-awareness is key to being truly demure. When you understand who you are, you can be mindful of how you come across to others. This awareness allows you to consistently present your beauty and personality in a way that is true to you, regardless of the setting. Without this self-awareness, you might find yourself changing your style or personality to please others, which can be exhausting and inauthentic.

4. Engage in Demure Communication

Applying demure principles to how you talk and treat others means maintaining a thoughtful, respectful, and composed demeanor consistently, not just on special occasions. Whether you’re on a date, in a job interview, or speaking with someone like the president, the politeness, kindness, and self-control you exhibit should to them should be the same in all your everyday interactions. Avoid the mistake of shifting your behavior based on the context or changing from calm and respectful to reactive or unfiltered. Instead, let your authentic, composed approach be a permanent part of how you communicate. By being genuine and consistent, you embody the essence of being demure and ensure your interactions remain respectful and effective.

Related Article: 13 Causes of Toxic Communication in Relationships

5. Embrace Minimalism

Minimalism in lifestyle emphasizes simplicity and intentionality, aligning with the essence of being demure. For example, instead of purchasing multiple properties or luxury cars to impress others, focus on making thoughtful, sustainable choices that reflect your true needs and values. Similarly, hosting an extravagant party to showcase success may be less fulfilling than investing in meaningful experiences or personal growth.

This demure approach to minimalism values quality over quantity, ensuring that your decisions enhance your well-being rather than seeking external validation. By embracing minimalism, you maintain a sense of authenticity and balance, prioritizing what genuinely enriches your life while staying true to your understated elegance.

6. Move in Silence 

Incorporating a demure approach into your lifestyle involves working towards your goals while maintaining a calm and composed demeanor. This means focusing on your objectives quietly and without seeking external validation, which protects your peace from opinions and criticisms and reduces the risk of gossip or negativity. By allowing your achievements to speak for themselves and staying true to your values, you preserve your authenticity and minimize unnecessary attention. This subtlety ensures that your actions are consistent with your intentions, reinforcing the essence of being demure.

Related Article: 5 Steps on How to Move In Silence

7. Practice Minding Your Own Business

Minding your own business is a key aspect of being demure. It means focusing on your own growth and well-being without getting involved in unnecessary drama or gossip. By respecting others’ privacy and avoiding involvement in situations that don’t concern you, you maintain a composed and peaceful demeanor. This approach allows you to stay true to yourself, protect your energy, and cultivate an environment of mutual respect. In doing so, you embody the essence of being demure—calm, composed, and focused on what truly matters.

8. Embrace Your Femininity

Women are naturally beautiful, and often, less is more. As a demure woman, it’s important to know when to dial down your sexuality, especially in professional settings. Lebron emphasizes this point, stating that she doesn’t put her “Cha Cha” on display at work, referring to her breasts. This highlights the importance of knowing when and how to showcase your femininity appropriately. At work, let your qualities of intelligence, compassion, consistency, and humility shine more than your physical appearance.

Related Article: 32 Signs of Blocked Feminine Energy 

9. Have Mindful Beauty Goals

Being demure also means being mindful of how you dress and present yourself. Demure beauty is effortless—it doesn’t rely on overt sexuality or dramatic attire to be attractive. It’s about shining for the right reasons, without appearing as though you’re seeking attention. Of course, what “doing too much” means can vary based on personal interpretation. For Lebron, it means not overdoing makeup or attire; she avoids anything too dramatic, like a “green cut crease,” “clown make-up look” or overly revealing clothing at work. She believes in presenting herself consistently and appropriately across all situations.

• Demure Makeup: Keep your makeup refined and suitable for the occasion. While bold colors or striking looks can be used, make sure they are appropriate and not overly dramatic for the settings.
• Demure Clothing and Fashion: Choose outfits that blend elegance with personal style. Your demure aesthetic outfit should make a statement in a refined way without overwhelming your presence. Embrace demure fashion that is classic and sophisticated, balancing standout pieces with understated elegance. Ensure your demure dress to impress fits the occasion, and incorporate demure fashion aesthetics thoughtfully, allowing for a touch of personality without overshadowing your overall look.
• Demure Nails: Opt for demure nails designs that are clean and polished. While you can experiment with colors and patterns, make sure they are suitable for the context and do not distract from the overall subtlety of your appearance.

10. Bonus: Others Ways to Be Demure

• While Eating: Use delicate manners, opt for smaller bites, and handle utensils gracefully.
• While Socializing: Engage politely and avoid interrupting or overshadowing others.
• While Handling Conflict: Address disagreements calmly and respectfully, using gentle language.
• While Comporting Yourself: Move with poise and grace, maintaining good posture and deliberate movements.
• While Making Decisions: Approach choices thoughtfully and considerately. Avoid abrupt or impulsive decisions.
• While Exploring Self-Love, Self-Care, Mental Health: Practice self-care with a gentle, nurturing approach. Maintain a balanced routine that includes relaxation, reflection, and positive affirmations. Avoid harsh self-criticism and embrace self-compassion.
• While Pursuing Fitness and Positive Body Image: Embrace a balanced approach to fitness that emphasizes self-love. Love and appreciate your natural, modest body by focusing on health and well-being rather than extreme activities or alterations.
• While Setting Boundaries: Express your needs and limits with calmness and respect. Communicate your boundaries gently yet firmly, ensuring clarity without confrontation. Maintain a composed and polite tone, demonstrating both your self-respect and respect for others.

Conclusion: Extending Demure to Your Entire Lifestyle

Embracing a demure lifestyle goes beyond just your clothing and beauty routine. It involves adopting a mindset that prioritizes self-respect, thoughtfulness, and authenticity in every aspect of life. This means being consistently polite, kind, and composed, whether you’re on a date, in a job interview, or speaking with customer service.

Avoid the pitfall of changing your demeanor based on the situation; instead, let your genuine self shine through in all interactions. By maintaining this consistency and mindfulness, you reinforce the essence of being demure, ensuring that your communication and behavior are always respectful and effective. This approach not only enhances your personal style but also cultivates a sense of inner peace and confidence that permeates every part of your life.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What does “demure” mean, and what is the demure trend? Demure refers to a modest, reserved, and composed demeanor. The demure trend involves adopting a refined and gentle style and behavior, which you can explore further in various videos, including the demure and mindful trend original video.

2. How can I be demure as a girl? To be demure as a girl, focus on embodying qualities such as politeness, kindness, and a composed attitude. This involves dressing modestly, speaking gently, and maintaining a respectful presence in all situations.

3. How can I be demure at work? Being demure at work means demonstrating professionalism and grace. This includes dressing appropriately, communicating with respect, and handling situations with a calm and thoughtful demeanor.

4. What is the “very demure very mindful” TikTok meaning? The “very demure very mindful” TikTok refers to a trend that emphasizes a blend of modesty and mindfulness, highlighting the importance of being both reserved and consciously present in your interactions.

5. Where can I find more information on the demure trend? This article provides a comprehensive explanation of the demure trend, including its meaning and applications. For additional insights, you can also explore related resources such as the demure trend explained and various original videos on the topic.

6. How can I use “demure” in a sentence? To use “demure” in a sentence, describe someone’s modest, reserved, or understated demeanor or appearance. For example, you might say, “Her demure smile and soft-spoken manner made her a favorite among her colleagues.” This illustrates how the term conveys a sense of graceful subtlety and modesty.