7 Secrets on How To Romance A Man!
Thought your relationship would be romantic? It's not? Relationship expectations hurt! Healthy relationships are geared to teaching each other and fixing relationship problems!
In movies, we often see men making grand romantic gestures to show their love, leading to the expectation that men should be the primary romantics in relationships. This became clear when I spoke with a co-worker on Valentine’s Day. He was planning an intimate dinner on his apartment balcony for his wife—complete with lights, flowers, and cooking. Despite his excitement, he shared, “I would like someone to do this for me too. Why is Valentine’s Day mostly for women?”
I know not all women expect these types of romantic gestures, but his comment struck a chord. Many women complain about the lack of romance their partner brings, feeling that after everything they do—like cooking, cleaning, and taking care of things—they deserve romance in return as a token of appreciation.
Romance is Selfless, Not a Requirement
Call me crazy, but I don’t believe romantic gestures should be seen as “payment” or a requirement. Romance is about selflessly expressing love, not fulfilling an obligation. If we want romance, we can’t be mad when our partner doesn’t initiate it. Romance should come naturally, as a spontaneous way to make our partner feel special—just because we love them.
Ultimately, both men and women want to feel loved for who they are, not just for what they’ve done. They want to feel desired and cherished, to be romanced, and to enjoy the excitement that comes with being put on a pedestal.
As women, we can teach our partners that romance is exciting by doing romantic things for them. It may not always be easy, but it’s worth it. Write him little notes, take him to his favorite restaurant, or surprise him with something you know he loves. If you’re married, put on that special lingerie or make his favorite dessert. Men deserve to feel the same love and excitement too!
Related Article: What is Love? What Does Love Feel Like?
Communicate and Share the Romance Load
We can’t claim all romantic holidays or expect romance only from men. If romance is hard for you to give due to emotional pain, communicate kindly with your partner. Let him know how you want to be loved, and don’t expect him to know without you saying something. Relationships thrive on communication, so express your desires and your needs.
The solution may vary in different relationships, but the bottom line is both partners deserve to be romanced. You both deserve to feel loved, sexy, and appreciated. Romance is a two-way street, and the key is sharing the load—so both of you feel the love.
How To Romance A Man
1. Get Emotionally Naked
Let your heart stay wide open. Don’t let pain, pride, or anger close you off. Heal, so you can stay raw, vulnerable, and ready to love deeply. This is one of the sexiest things you can give—letting yourself be fully seen and known. Just like physical intimacy speaks to the soul, offering your heart fully is the ultimate turn-on. It’s about shedding the emotional armor and allowing yourself to be exposed, unafraid to be vulnerable. The more you let go, the more you invite real, deep connection that’s as intoxicating as the most passionate love.
Then, help him get naked emotionally. Create a space where he feels free to explore his real self, his untapped romantic nature, without the fear of disappointing you. Remove the fear of punishment from your relationship. Don’t use affection as a weapon when things aren’t perfect—this only builds walls. Instead, offer him a safe place to be vulnerable, knowing that love is unconditional and judgment-free. By keeping love flowing freely—raw, real, and unwavering—you create the trust and intimacy needed for him to fully open up and explore his deepest, truest desires.
2. Nurture Him
Celebrate the man he’s becoming, not just the one he is right now. Recognize his efforts, big and small, and mirror back to him the strength and potential you see. Compliment his growth, not out of obligation, but because you genuinely see the spark in him—his ambition, his dreams, and his unique path. When you nurture him this way, you create a space for him to rise higher, knowing he’s loved for who he’s becoming. This kind of support is intoxicating—it makes him feel seen, understood, and capable of becoming the best version of himself, all with you by his side.
3. Manage Expectations
Set the tone for romance by giving what you want to receive. Treat him like a king, and he’ll likely treat you like a queen. Communicate openly about your needs and feelings—don’t expect him to read your mind. At the same time, be mindful of unrealistic romantic expectations. Relationships thrive when both partners are clear, patient, and understanding with each other.
If communication isn’t solving the issue, seek professional help before things grow cold. It’s never too late to get expert advice.
4. Plan Special Dates
Get to know your partner and plan thoughtful dates he’ll enjoy. Question him to discover his preferences.
- Movie night with his favorite food or snacks
- New experiences together: Try cooking, hiking, skydiving, or a paint night to create new memories and strengthen your bond.
- Revisit your first date: Take a trip down memory lane by recreating your first date or reliving a special moment from the early days of your relationship.
- Plan a getaway: A change of scenery can rekindle romance and give you both the chance to escape the daily grind and reconnect.
Here is a list of 50 date nights idea!
5. Gift Him Thoughtfully
Surprise him with a romantic gift that shows you care. Whether it’s something meaningful or just fun, gifts speak volumes about how much you think of him. Check out these 7 romantic gifts for men who have everything!
- Jewelry: A classic, timeless piece of jewelry such as a watch that adds a personal touch to his everyday style.
- Books: A book that aligns with his interests or something that will inspire him.
- Event with his friends: Surprise him with sports tickets or tickets to a concert/event he can enjoy with his friends.
- Favorite snack on the kitchen counter: A simple but thoughtful gesture like leaving his favorite snack where he’ll find it.
- Experience gift: Give him the gift of an experience, like a cooking class, a wine tasting, or a fun adventure to share together.
- Tech gadgets: A new gadget or accessory that he’s been eyeing, whether it’s a new pair of headphones or a smart device.
6. Send Cute Notes
Leave sweet, spontaneous notes for him to find. A little reminder of your love can turn an ordinary day into something special. Whether it’s a text, sticky note, or message tucked in his pocket, it’s a simple way to keep the romance alive.
Ideas for cute notes:
- 10 Days of What I Like About You: Share one thing you love about him each day.
- 10 Days of What Made Me Fall in Love with You: Remind him of the moments that deepened your feelings for him.
- 5 Days of What I’m Thankful for About You: Express gratitude for the big and small things he does.
- 5 Days of Reasons Why I Love You: List reasons that remind him why your love is so unique and special
7. Create Intimate Moments
Sometimes, romance isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about creating intimate, quiet moments where you connect on a deeper level. Whether it’s sharing a slow dance in the living room, watching the sunset together, or just holding hands while talking about your dreams, these moments build a deeper emotional bond. Make space for stillness and presence with each other, letting him feel the warmth of your connection without any distractions. These small yet meaningful acts of intimacy nurture the relationship and keep the spark alive.
